Pondering...

2009.11.05 Thursday In the library I've just finished my Public Speeching class.After that I walked alone in the campus,slowly and aimlessly.I was seeking a way to calm down and re-check myself with an outsider's perspective. At the very moment, I've definitely met some significantly serious problems ever since I entered university. First an for most, my writing ability stalls in a relatively poor level. I 'm not able to master words yet sentence structures. That's to say : I'm now writing the same essay as I wrote in high school--No Improvement. Second, my spoken English was strongly doubted today.The teacher pointed out something I had never noticed before. 1.I don't pronounce the vowels fully; 2.I'm speaking neither in British accent nor American accent, which turns out to be a real blow at me for that i've always been proud of my "close-native" prononciation. I've always known the fact that because of my poor capacity of using advanced words and speaking in public, the content of my conversation often ends up dull and weak in reflection. The only thing I have to inspire others is my tone and prononciation. Now when I lost my only advantage , I get puzzled yet frustrated. I have to counfess, after compared to my excellent counterparts, I do have a long way to go...Go and be ashamed of having been that conceited before--that nobody questioned you doesn't mean you are perfect. Thus as with this striking awareness, I have to say "THX" to Ms.Xing. It might be a good thing to have my weakness revealed in my sophomore year. The identity crisis it brings gives me a good chance to evaluate myself objectively. Therefore I could figure out the solutions ASAP.