When a Child Goes Before the Parents

In the natural order of things, children are not supposed to go before their parents. That is why it is painful for a parent to bury his child.

"How did my son die?" asked Joe Jackson. This is what parents usually ask after a death of a child. Hearing that phrase can really be painful.

But to come from a father who had been accused of abusing his children, that might have elicited mixed reactions from people: especially when that abuse was believed to be the cause of the inner turmoil that plagued Michael Jackson all his life.

The thing with child abuse is that it rarely leaves the victim. The trauma, the hurt, the scar gets deeply rooted in the psyche of the abused. I have seen the face of this abuse in people who have acquired deep unhappy souls.

There are of course many ways to overcome this kind of trauma. There are people who have made it their responsibility to help these people achieve that inner healing. I know Ateneo de Manila University has a program before that is called "Healing the Inner Child." But it is a long painful battle for the abused person. And no one deserves that kind of life.

When we bind ourselves with another human being, and we are blessed to have children, we must take that responsibility seriously. As parents, we must be careful in rearing our children. After all, we are bringing not a person, but a life into this world. God gives us that privilege.

Sometimes when parenting becomes such a challenge, I offer this prayer:

God, you have entrusted these children to me, help me take care of them. Amen.

We should try not to disrupt the natural order of things.