Defining Proper Discipline

Even though the saying 'spare the rod and spoil the child' is true within the framework of discipline, it should never be taken to believe that it is okay to abuse the child in order to get him or her to obey. Physical forms of punishments must always be administered as a last resort and only when the parent is fully in control of their emotions. If you are dealing with anger due to something your child did that was wrong or disobedient, never allow yourself to take out that anger on the child in the name of discipline. That is nothing short of abuse.

One critical approach to consider before administering punishment is to talk to the child. Communication is vitally important in setting the stage for what level of discipline is appropriate in relation to the rule that was broken. Effective discipline starts and ends with communication. Whatever form of discipline is administered, first explaining why it has come to this and then afterward talking about it can go a long way in discouraging any further violation of the rules.

It is a given that parents generally do not look forward to having to punish their children for being disobedient. In a perfect world this would never have to be addressed. But, since we do not live in a perfect world and we all, from time to time break rules, there needs to be a set of rules in place with the consequences for violating those rules clearly spelled out. Again, the key is communication; when the child and the parent know ahead of time the consequences for the violation, there is a much greater chance that the discipline will be handed out firmly yet fairly, and without anger or potential for harm to the child. It will also go far instilling in the child not to repeat the violation.

There is a great difference between physical punishment and physical abuse. When the boundaries are clearly set and understood by all involved, abuse will have no chance of being a player in the disciplining of children. It will be the exception to the rule that physical discipline will need to be applied if communication is presented regarding the rules and what the consequences of breaking those rules are.

Every child has the right to expect a safe, loving environment in which to be raised. Parents need to constantly be on guard against becoming angry when their children break the rules and never, ever administer discipline when angry. The discipline must also be age appropriate. Never discipline a small child in the same manner that you would punish a child that is older. Punishment must always be age appropriate.

In conclusion, should you as a parent realize you have a problem with controlling your temper whenever the need for discipline is to be administered, take yourself out of the situation until you can calm down. If that is not working, you need to seek professional counseling for the sake and safety of your children.