There are always alternatives to disciplining defiant children ages 3-12 without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards. The aim of this article is to teach parents how to get their children to follow directions without of the "hype" and nonsense that is taught out there today.
First it is always important to give your 3-12 year old choices. How exactly do I do that? The best way to balance this concept of choice giving is to give two choices that you are perfectly okay with no matter what he or she picks. Do your best to pick two choices that will balance what he/she is allowed to do with what the child would enjoy doing.
Why is giving two choices so important? This is so important to do because giving too many choices and your child will become overwhelmed by having to pick. If you do not give enough choices your 3-12 year old will feel like he or she has "no say at all", and the child will rebel.
Secondly, make sure that you give your 3-12 year old ample warning about what is going to happen next, at least 10 minutes before hand. Actually the most the most effective way to handle these transition times is by using the 10 minute, 5 minute, 1 minute, then GO system.
This method simply is done by giving a child a warning 10 minutes, then another one at 5 minutes. Finally give one last warning to wrap up at the one minute make, and then GO. This method should eliminate about 75% of most resistance from moving from one activity to the next.
In conclusion, raising defiant children can be a very difficult task. Make sure that if you need further assistance that you seek help from a qualified mental health professional or pediatrician
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