You reap what you sow. As parent, grandparent, do we know what types of seed that we have sowed into the mind of our children, grandchildren in the past decades and what do we expect to reap. Many parents do not have an answer. Their 10 year-olds have spun them round and round until they become dizzy and cannot even breathe.
As a parent, you cannot stand there just feeling disappointed and sorry for your children. You need to find out the causes that have led to the current state of affair. You reap what you sow; you have planted the wrong types of seed. You have to stop your tears as crying will not help to change the bad seeds to become the good seeds. You must identify and start to plant the good seeds, change the method of cultivation including the provision of good sunshine, clean air and clean water to ensure that you will be able to reap a good harvest later. Similarly, your children will not turn to become good by you just sitting there waiting for him to grow up. The often-heard saying that "the child is still small; he will change to become better when he grows up" cannot be true at all. The change has to start with us as the parent. The parent with the disposition and practice of good ethics and values in the home will create the change necessary to transform the atmosphere in the home.
Life is like playing a game of chess. If one is only able to visualize the move one step at a time, the game is not only uninteresting but the steps are difficult to move. However, if one is able to see the desired result at the end of fifty or hundred steps ahead, then one can move each incremental step with ease and even ignore others' comment due to their inability to see as far as you could. Similarly, do we know the reason for the other person's children or grandchildren to become good kids? We may have adopted the wrong method or value system and we may not have seen ten years or twenty years ahead. We were just looking at one day at a time.
I have a friend who has a son who is now twenty over years old. His no-nonsense method of teaching his son when his son was still a toddler was severely criticized by his other brothers and sisters. Even his own parent does not agree with his method, saying that his method is too stringent and no one else is using such method to raise their children nowadays. However, my friend strongly believes that behaviors repeated many times will eventually become habits; as such he believes that if he is able to instill the good behaviors for his son when he was still a toddler, then when he grows up, his good behaviors will become his habits. With the correct value systems and the good habits as the foundation, he will then have the ability and the inner force to discipline himself so that he will not fall into the wrong path. After a decade, when his son was ten over years old, whenever his parent visits him, his son will offer his parent tea and give them a massage; his son even telephones his parent frequently to show his concerns for them. His parent has to change and retract their earlier criticism as he has proven and has brought up a well-mannered son. His brothers and sisters' children, on the other hand, were having problems. Not only their children do not have the basic manners to respect the elders, they were also experts in expanding their parents' hard earned money to buy things and toys and gadgets that they desired but do not need.
Decide what you want your children to be and plant the good seeds today so that you can be assured of reaping a good harvest later. Good values and behaviors need to be instilled into your children whilst they are still a toddler. A child would grow up to be what they are based on how they were raised and this does not happen by chance. It requires a lot of patience and hard work and good role model from the parent and the grandparent who are living with the child. You reap what you sow.
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