If Your Adopted Child Has Low Self Confidence Do You Know How to Help Him

If you are considering adopting a child from another country, there are special considerations to accept and plan for. If you believe, as so many adoptive parents do, that God has a hand in placing an adopted child with the family he抯 supposed to be with, then choosing the right adoption agency to insure getting this placement right is one of your first responsibilities. Your research would focus on connecting with a good and knowledgeable adoption agency with conscientious and caring case workers and coordinators.

An agency concerned for the child to be adopted, his welfare and his feelings, should well understand the hurdles to be faced in dealing with being placed in a different family from a different country, with a different language and customs. Therefore, special effort and care would be given to matching the child with the family as closely as possible. This would be the first step in helping the adopted child to feel accepted and in dealing with the child抯 self esteem.

Would-be adoptive American parents of children from abroad (or from America) would do well to concentrate on helping their adopted child to understand that they are wonderfully made, and that regardless of race, culture or language, no matter if they are different in some obvious way from their new-found parents or others in the family or community, they are where they are supposed to be. Being different is what is so great about being a human being: you are free to be all that God made YOU to be ?not to be like everyone else.

The greatest gift a mother and father can give to their children is to demonstrate to them their love for each other. Your adopted child may have traveled a long way from his natural environment, but when he finds himself placed in the very midst of love, he begins to feel connected, safe and secure. Modeling this exchange of true love is sowing the seed of unconditional love that binds lives together stronger than any cultural or genetic trait can do deep within the heart of your child, and he begins to sense his real intrinsic value as a human being.. He will begin to understand that his value and worth lie not in what he is or is not on the outside, but what he is becoming on the inside.

Doing things together as a family builds trust and security. As you give of your time to each other in exploring the delights of your child抯 new found family and cultural environment, his confidence will grow. As you provide the opportunities to make new friends with both children and adults; to learn new skills and develop special talents based on his interests; to realize that making mistakes and learning from them are avenues to success, not failure; to reach beyond self in helping others in need; then will your beloved, adopted child begin to understand how important he is and how he fits into the mainstream of life.

When your child receives this love and respect from his parents, and if he is taught to respect all individuals regardless of differences, he will begin to accept and respect his own differences as being a part of life. Sensitive, caring adoptive parents seeking a child from another country would certainly make every effort to research all information possible about that country and seek to share that information with their child. Certainly they would seek out avenues for providing a connection to their adopted child抯 native country and culture such as meeting people from that country who live in or near their community; reading books, listening to music, enjoying various foods and perhaps even corresponding with relatives still in that country.

With all the challenges facing parents in helping their adopted child (children) build and maintain a healthy attitude of self esteem, you would do well to take advantage of all the research offered online, in libraries, and with community agencies. And do not over look the resource of divine guidance in this greatest of all life-changing venture.

Take comfort in this fact: Love is not contingent on biology. Love comes from that deep, committed desire to be a parent ?to care for and nourish that special little being that was once your 揳dopted child? but has quickly become 搚our child? Language, culture, skin color, genetics ?all of that fades into the background and the only thing that matters is that now, finally, you are together and will forever be ?family!